OMGOSH

Today I went in feeling stressed because I was in a time crunch. Had an ultrasound and blood taken. The follicles looked great I forgot to take a picture because I was in a hurry. My blood results were good; just where they wanted them. Next appointment is Friday May 1st at 9am. 

Sooooooo now for the best part!

I have ER May 5th and then ET May 8th and I have to stay home Saturday the 9th.

I'm still taking Lupron and Menopur for 5 more days.

I feel super nervous and excited at the same time. It's so close but so far at the same time. Feeling a bit stressed.  I'm working 7 days straight because I had to switch my days off for the ER & ET days, and then for Saturday I used my PTO hours. 

Things to Say (and Not to Say) to Someone Living with Infertility

Since I was little all I wanted to do was be a housewife and have four kids. My older sister would always get mad at me because I would say that. Knowing that we can’t have kids naturally is heart-breaking. But I have faith that we will succeed! Someone close to me told me one of the following and I felt so disheartened. So I decided to make a list of what I like and don't like to hear. 

Don't say these things!

1. “Trust me, It isn’t everything you think it is.”: I don’t expect motherhood to be all hugs and kisses but I want it so bad that the sleepless nights and poopy diapers don’t matter. So what you are telling me is that you regret having your baby? What about all those cuddles, hugs, play dates, smiles, first words, pictures, and everything else?
2. “Everything happens for a reason.”: What reason would that be? Please tell me.
3. “It will happen once you stop trying. Just relax.”: How long should I relax?  One year?  Two?  Ten?  Till I'm dead?
4. “Maybe you’re just not supposed to have kids.”: Oh so I don’t deserve to have kids because they will go grow up in a loving home and will never need anything. One of the cruelest things anyone could say, ‘Maybe God doesn't intend for you to be a mother.’” Infertility is a medical condition, not a punishment from God or Mother Nature.
5. "Don’t worry, you’re young!": It doesn’t matter how old or young people might be- if I want a baby, I want a baby. 
6. “Maybe it’s a sign”: A sign of what?
7. “You can always adopt.”: If I have a way to have a biological kid I would like to try everything I could to do so. If I had diabetes or cancer should I not try everything  to beat it? 
8. “Everything will be okay.”: I know that everything will be okay- I don't need to be reminded. I just want to know that you care.
9. “Are you mad that [so and so] is pregnant?”: I’m not angry that so and so is pregnant, it just hurts that everyone around me is getting pregnant and I can’t. 

YOU SHOULD ALWAYS:

1. Support all decisions: Going though infertility treatments is rough- it is hard emotionally, physically and mentally. 

2. Really Listen and try to understand: I know it might be hard to understand how I feel, especially if you haven't been though it. Sometimes I just want a listener. 

3. Pray for them:  Prayers are always welcome!

4. Be a friend, no matter what: A friend is someone who is always there to listen, and be there when you down to bring you up. 

Next Step

The doctor said that my ovaries look good!That my period should be ending pretty soon. I'm still taking Lurpon until my next appointment which will be the 29th of this month. I will be taking Lupron and 5am (stomach) and then Menopur at 9pm (my bum).

Signing papers & got my schedule 

Starting Menopur tomorrow every night at 9pm. 

Dosage: 4 powders and 1 water

My husband got taught how to mix the medication and how to apply it. 

so proud of him!

Lupron Shots

I wake up my husband to give me the Lupron shot at five in the morning before going to work. I feel bad every time I wake him up but he wants to do it and I'm to scared to do it myself. On the fourth when it hurt I think he felt asleep while giving it to me so I told him I would start doing it but he said no he wanted to keep doing it. Now he gets out of bed to give the shot.

1. Monday 13th-  It hurt so painful it think we did something wrong.
2. Tuesday 14th-It was a little burn and being at work I felt very sleepy and had nightmares. 
3. Wednesday 15th- It was itching like crazy and nightmares again.
4. Thursday 16th- Painful my hubs went fast & it itched like crazy & feeling super tired
5. Friday 17th-It was painful going in and the worst itching from all the shots. Last day on birth control.  
6. Saturday 18th- Little itchy, no pain
7. Sunday 19th- Just perfect (my skin is really dry and it itches like crazy)
8. Monday 20th- Itching like crazy and nightmares, hot flashes (started my period & bad cramps) 
9. Tuesday 21st- Very itchy, no pain (I put ice before my shot) Dropped down the dosage from 20 to 10 because I started my period.
10. Wednesday 22nd- Little itchy & hot flashes
11. Thursday 23rd- Just itchy

Today I have an appointment at 8:45! Hope everything is on track and  we stick to the schedule.

31 days

I created a calendar to countdown the the days until I find out if I'm pregnant. It might change depending on how my medication is going  and if the schedule goes as planned. It feels weird to know the day when I find out if I'm pregnant but super excited to know. 

Today is #31 in the calendar!!!

I created the design in my Cameo Silhouette if you would like a pdf let me know.

T.O.M. (time of the month) is here.

Not feeling well today. 

I have a headache, feeling dizzy and I have the worst cramps ever.So I decided to blog and read What to expect when you're expecting. I was worried I wasn't going to get my period before my next appointment but I was wrong. The nurse told me that I would and when I did I would have to change the dosage from 20 to 10. 

Home remedies:

Heated blanket

Tea 

Update: I have three days left on Lupron and have our appointment on Thursday! 

1st Shot of Lupron

Just did my first Lupron shot! It hurt so bad that I cried. I don't understand why it hurt, some ladies that I talk to say it didn't or it just itched. It hurt for about 4 minutes and then it started to itch. My husband thought I was kidding at first because I love shots but it was so painful. It was not the shot that hurt but the medication going inside that was hurting. It has to be refrigerated so maybe its because its cold and that's what I felt but I don't know the real reason but I have 10 more days to go. 

Wish me luck!!! I want this so bad so I will take any pain to have a baby. 

                                                                                                                                                       

I got some excited news today after she explained the schedule to us. If everything goes well and on schedule we will know if we are pregnant by MAY 21! 

We can't wait!!!

                                                                                                                                                           

Side Effects- 

• Headache, mood changes, mild depression, or unusual tiredness
• Hot flashes or sweating
• Pain, itching, burning, rash, or swelling where the shot was given
• Trouble sleeping
• And More

Mexico Trip

Today my friend and I took a day trip to Mexico to get the last medication that I needed. 

Then I had an appointment at 3:15 with my doctor and I had to take all the medication to get the instructions to get started on the process.  

We stop by to get some goodies before leaving!

Waiting...

April 13th can't come soon enough. 

I want things to start moving along.  
It just feels like a waiting game.

I know that I need to be patience. 

Inspiration

On our way...

Getting started with the process. 

I started birth control on 3.24.15.

 I am only taking it for three weeks and only the active pills.

I have a doctor's appointment on April 13th.
That same day I'm taking a morning trip to Mexico before my appointment to get the last medication that I need: the Menpour vials (its less expensive in Mexico).
That completes all the medication I will need.  

Feelings- Super excited and a bit scared. 

D.I.Y Calendar

This is our money calendar.

 I wanted a visual tracker to help us visualize our goal.  

But I didn't want any kind of calendar so I made it myself. 

Let me explain it.  

The quote that I used was- "It's going to be hard but hard is not impossible." 

1 & 2- is how I separate our paychecks. My husband and I get paid every two weeks so 1 is the first paycheck of the month and the 2 is the second paycheck of the month. 

The months helps me track how much we saved on each check and for the month. 

Baby H Flag- is a bookmark from each paycheck  I write on one side how much I saved for that check and then once that month passes I put the total below. (The H is just our future baby name.)

If you want a printable copy let me know and I will post it.